Saturday, January 20, 2007

Don't Make Me Turn This Bus Around

What says flip-flopping better than a wetsuit? This must have been the question George W. Bush's campaign strategists asked themselves before broadcasting the famous anti-Kerry commercial in '04 in which the unfortunate also-ran's windy hobbies were used against him. McCain, on the other hand, knows better than to subject himself to the elements. He takes the bus. While it remains to be seen if he will traverse the country in an updated version of the Straight Talk Express, we now know that he has hired the same brains behind those windsurfing ads to work on his '08 campaign, as reported by the New York Times today.

This is a smart move on McCain's part. He could use a little increased sensitivity to people who are for things before they are against them. What great ads he'll have! I mean, speaking of wind, remember the confederate flag in South Carolina? Who was that crazy guy who held at least two positions on that flag in a single speech? Maybe we can make a commercial about him! And what about the guy who was anti-Jerry Falwell before he started loving Jerry Falwell? And that guy who made campaign finance reform a top issue and never shut up about it until its most recent vote on the senate floor, when he was mysteriously absent from any/all debate?

John McCain is no stranger to the flip-flop. Good thing he's paying the right people to convince the electorate otherwise.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Maverick Was a Character in Top Gun

Earlier this week, I came down with a violent stomach flu. On the brink of vomiting and trying to hurry along the process, I thought a lot about widely disseminated and misguided views of John McCain as a "maverick" senator, the "rogue" republican from Arizona. This did the trick. John McCain is not a maverick. He's not a rogue. He's really not even a centrist. I'm serious. I would like everyone to stop calling him these things. More importantly, I would like people to stop electing him to public office. MOST importantly, I would like to make sure he never becomes president.

Hence, this blog. Stay tuned!